The owner of this blog does not share personal information with third-parties nor does the owner store information that is collected about your visit for use other than to analyze content performance through the use of cookies, which you can turn off at anytime by modifying your Internet browser’s settings. The owner is not responsible for the republishing of the content found on this blog or on other web sites or media without permission.

Blog Comments

The owner of this blog reserves the right to edit or delete any comments submitted to this blog without notice due to;

1. Comments deemed to be spam or questionable spam
2. Comments including profanity
3. Comments containing language or concepts that could be deemed offensive
4. Comments that attack a person individually

Terms and Conditions

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

This policy is subject to change at anytime.

credit to:

Credit to: ...Sophie...

The use of labels has made life more complicated than it is. As a woman it is perfectly acceptable to compliment another woman without appearing to have any ulterior motives or be considered heterosexual. However for “straight” men life becomes a little more tedious. Simple gestures like hugging a friend for a second too long; sitting next to another guy in a restaurant (as opposed to sitting across the table from each other), singing a simple song like “Burn” by Usher or even watching “90210” can be construed as gay. It seems like guys have to “work” to appear straight at all times.

This leads to the issue of the “MAN DATE”. However, when I conducted a mini survey amongst my peers I found that even this LABEL was too much for them to accept and look at it clearly without an unbiased opinion.

Credit to:


Suppose a guy has something serious he wants to talk about to a close friend, which he cannot broach amongst “his boys”. Is it not perfectly acceptable for him to call his friend up and ask to hang out for a bit? NO! Apparently this is unacceptable because it is a pre-meditated or a planned gathering. I made the mistake of calling this a man date but it is just a “premeditated” meeting of two close friends where the agenda is to offload on a good friend and lean on someone else’s shoulder.

Ironically, I also found out that when guys call up their friends to shoot some hoops or hit the bar this is perfectly alright. So I asked myself again is this not the same thing because in both instances one male planned to spend some time with a friend and rang him up and set a time and a place to meet? But my friends argued again that the second scenario is acceptable because the friend at hand was called “spontaneously” or last minute so it does not qualify as a date. I rebuffed this fact standing on the grounds that it is the same thing labeled under another name. the only difference is the setting but the fundamentals are still the same. Many people that “saw” no problem with the man-date scenario did explain that there are certain rules that must be adhered to.

  • For instance; some have been mentioned earlier, sitting across the table from one another.
  • Arriving and leaving separately
  • If you are to watch a movie a seat must be left in between the two of you
  • You greet each other by a manly hug, no lingering hugs and crying is strictly prohibited
Credit to: candy_gourlay

These social quirks that we create for ourselves as human beings tickle me as we seem to suffer from making rules for every aspect of our lives. Men should feel free to express themselves without any fear of judgment. We need to get rid of the fear of judgment and “high-school” peer pressure to keep up appearances at all times.

Credit to: Hey-Kit

I understand the dilemma that many men may have to this idea but I challenge everyone to ask themselves, what is the true reason why we make life more complicated that it needs to be?


6 thoughts on “Labels

  1. Kundai,
    Very interesting stuff!

    To continue the conversation, do you believe then that labels always disserve? Assuming the original purpose, it seems to me, labels are man’s attempt to define himself. Consider gender roles for example. Differentiation by function. A very base concept in our world today. Nonetheless useful. Self-definition involves processes of distinction, where one specifies or despecifies their self-concept through a set criteria. Where little room is left for adaption of these criteria stereotypes and typesetting are the result, I suppose. And so, I still think labels are useful. The challenge only is what is their right and proper use.

    1. I was not focusing on the fundamentals of a person’s identity but rather labels that we use carelessly and condition us to dissociate ourselves from an innocent “idea”. Looking at it from a guy’s perspective I thought that they inherit pressure to become the ideal man but in the process they are robbed of emotional support. You raised an interesting idea for a new post by digging deep there.

  2. I think what you said at lunch, “bromance” was what I had a problem with. I don’t see it a bad thing if to guys are hanging out with limits.

    1. Yes I still stand by my idea that men can have close friends and maintain an “innocent” relationship that does not interfere with their spouse. It’s this added pressure that makes them feel insecure about expressing themselves without “appearing” gay that raises these issues sometimes.

  3. I think this is a real problem when us as human beings allow ourselves to stop doing what we know we should do because there is a label for it. Men are just normal human beings with emotions. When life gets hard, they too need a friend, this is not a strange phenomenon, its life. There is nothing wrong with calling up a friend to talk about it or crying. If you need a hug, you need a hug, whether you are a man or a woman.

    It would be a great society if people went back to listening to the inner man, things will be much simpler. People would be able to share genuine love and care that human beings cannot do without, without the fear of being labeled. I think its only the people who are not afraid to do things differently that would not let their actions be guided by the fear of getting labeled.

  4. I felt that the main issue that made some of my friends disagree with this idea was the fact that their friends or society might think that they are homosexual. When I called it a “man date” they jumped to the conclusion that it had to deal with same sex relationships without hearing the full story. You could see the instant shut down showing on their faces. It’s like losing a battle before you have even fought.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s