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The use of labels has made life more complicated than it is. As a woman it is perfectly acceptable to compliment another woman without appearing to have any ulterior motives or be considered heterosexual. However for “straight” men life becomes a little more tedious. Simple gestures like hugging a friend for a second too long; sitting next to another guy in a restaurant (as opposed to sitting across the table from each other), singing a simple song like “Burn” by Usher or even watching “90210” can be construed as gay. It seems like guys have to “work” to appear straight at all times.
This leads to the issue of the “MAN DATE”. However, when I conducted a mini survey amongst my peers I found that even this LABEL was too much for them to accept and look at it clearly without an unbiased opinion.
THIS IS THE SCENARIO
Suppose a guy has something serious he wants to talk about to a close friend, which he cannot broach amongst “his boys”. Is it not perfectly acceptable for him to call his friend up and ask to hang out for a bit? NO! Apparently this is unacceptable because it is a pre-meditated or a planned gathering. I made the mistake of calling this a man date but it is just a “premeditated” meeting of two close friends where the agenda is to offload on a good friend and lean on someone else’s shoulder.
Ironically, I also found out that when guys call up their friends to shoot some hoops or hit the bar this is perfectly alright. So I asked myself again is this not the same thing because in both instances one male planned to spend some time with a friend and rang him up and set a time and a place to meet? But my friends argued again that the second scenario is acceptable because the friend at hand was called “spontaneously” or last minute so it does not qualify as a date. I rebuffed this fact standing on the grounds that it is the same thing labeled under another name. the only difference is the setting but the fundamentals are still the same. Many people that “saw” no problem with the man-date scenario did explain that there are certain rules that must be adhered to.
- For instance; some have been mentioned earlier, sitting across the table from one another.
- Arriving and leaving separately
- If you are to watch a movie a seat must be left in between the two of you
- You greet each other by a manly hug, no lingering hugs and crying is strictly prohibited
These social quirks that we create for ourselves as human beings tickle me as we seem to suffer from making rules for every aspect of our lives. Men should feel free to express themselves without any fear of judgment. We need to get rid of the fear of judgment and “high-school” peer pressure to keep up appearances at all times.
I understand the dilemma that many men may have to this idea but I challenge everyone to ask themselves, what is the true reason why we make life more complicated that it needs to be?